There’s not always a “best” way to regulate or manage emotions because so many situations are different and therefore can bring up different reactions.
Future episodes will discuss some methods to manage or cope with emotions that can be helpful in general, even if they don’t work in all situations.
Welcome back, this is Dr. Matt B with your Emotional Minutes. Last time we talked about emotion regulation, and I mentioned that there are ways people can deal with their emotions that might lead to better outcomes in their life. Sometimes people will say “give me a list” and ask for ways to better regulate their emotions.
There are a couple of things research has found to be relatively effective, but not always so cut-and-dry. The answer can sometimes be a little bit complex because we, as human beings, are pretty complex.
How to Cope: Looking at the Context
Typically, what this means is that it can come down to context. Every situation is different. Not every situation has one cut-and-dry way to deal with it and the emotions that come with it. For example, people may say to never suppress your emotions or always be expressive and say what you feel. That could be good at times, but in some situations that is not the best advice.
Example of Using Context
Let’s use the example from the last episode to show why that might not be good advice. In the example, you are frustrated because you’re running late and stuck in line at the grocery store. If that isn’t frustrating enough, a person ahead of you starts writing a check. We covered how the emotion you experience is different from the actual response you have in that situation.
If you don’t suppress your frustration in that situation, you create a social situation. Yelling at the person writing the check might lead you to be ostracized by the people around you. They might think that your response is too severe or that you’re being too mean.
Beyond the Example
Different situations can require different responses and there’s not always one cut-and-dry way of how to cope. It can be hard to determine the right ways to respond to situations since there are so many in our lives.
If you want to find ways to handle your emotions and situations more effectively, I recommend contacting a mental health provider. You could do that for multiple sessions, or you could do it just for a couple of sessions. This can help you get tools or strategies on how to help yourself through situations in ways that help you live the life you want to live and respond to situations in the way you want to respond to them.
