Stage theories of grief (like the 5 stages of grief, or 7 stages) have been a popular way to help make sense of a difficult experience. But research in the past few decades has shown people do not appear to grieve in stages.
Some scientists suggest that the popularity of this idea may be harmful to those grieving. That is, there is no “right” way to grieve and the idea of stages of grief creates expectations around how one should grieve that can make grieving more stressful.
Some newer theories appear to favor more dynamic yet simplified explanations for the grief process. For example, the “Dual Process Model” proposes that individuals shift between loss-oriented coping and restoration-oriented coping.
Loss-oriented coping includes actions such as resting and recuperating from the loss. Restoration-oriented coping includes engaging in valued activities and life routines. That fluctuation may also explain why individuals sometimes describe the grief experience as “coming in waves”.
People who have normal reactions to grief tend to fluctuate between these two modes of coping in a healthy and undisrupted way. Those who experience things like prolonged grief (aka complicated grief) have more complex and more disrupted patterns of this fluctuation.
Luckily, there is help! There are newer promising approaches to prolonged grief for individuals suffering from it and for therapist who want to help.
